Street Tough: Surviving the Streetz of D.C. in Style
Don’t know if you heard the news, but your very own Supreme Court of the United States has legalized handgun sales and possession in the District of Columbia and we’ve been shooting off our pistolas in celebration ever since. Given the already high crime rate and D.C.’s long history of violence, this district just became the tough capital of the free world. However, it’s not always cool to show up to work or the bar with a hole in your sternum. So here are a few bulletproof threads that are cool alternatives to the 50cent SWAT look:
First off, Black Armor’s Covert Denim Jacket ($800) combines rugged Marlboro-Man style with full front, back, and side ballistic protection. It’s the perfect choice for the casual Friday bullet dodger. Next, Australia’s Duram Products has a natty, Belstaff-looking all weather jacket that can stop the rain as easily as it stops rounds from an AK-47. In a similar vein, Spycatcher of Knightsbridge offers their Weatherproof Disguised Bullet/Stab-Proof Jacket ($1,779), a sharp number that will strike just the right note as you stand over the corpses of your would-be assassins.
If you’re looking for an accessory that will truly save your hide, pick up Zahal’s Bullet Proof Briefcase ($490), a thick shield disguised as a mere laptop case. Countermeasures beat computers any day. We don’t like to think about it, but kids can catch a bullet as easily as anyone else. Thank goodness for Bullet Blocker’s My Child’s Pack ($175). Now little Georgie can walk home from school without fear.
For a more hip-hop look, you can always turn to the Defender Hoodie by Britan’s Bladerunner ($865). The other skate rats won’t mess with you when you put on one of these. Then again, you might want to go for the aristocratic rancher look. If so, Miguel Cabellero will have a lead-proof parka, riding jacket, or duster perfect for you.
Usually weddings are a time for celebration. But with every celebration, there’s a chance of things getting out of hand. Next time, wear USA Body Armor’s formal EnGarde Executive Vest ($865). Which would you rather be, Best Man or Last Man Standing? Spycatchers of Knightsbridge and Security Pro also offer executive waistcoats for the human target on the go.
Unfortunately, New Era has yet to release a bulletproof baseball cap. But let’s face it, if you have a fear getting shot in the head you should probably just move to San Francisco.
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